Ah, kids. They’re like little sponges soaking up the world, except sometimes the information gets a bit… scrambled. Recently, someone on Reddit asked users to share the best examples of “kid logic” they’ve ever seen. The responses were too good not to share. Here’s a roundup of our favorites, guaranteed to make you smile, laugh, and maybe even facepalm a little.
The Cat Food Strategy
“I desperately wanted a kitten when I was younger. Every time we went to the grocery store, I’d try and sneak cat food into the shopping cart, thinking that if we got home and unpacked it, we’d have to go out and get a cat.“
This is both adorable and genius! It’s like saying, “Well, we’ve already got the food, might as well get a cat to eat it!” Kid logic at its finest – forward-thinking with a touch of wishful thinking.
Ant Relocation Plan
“My grandparents’ old trailer had ants. I wanted to help and knew they liked sweet things, so I added a bunch of sugar to some juice and made a trail from the house to an ant hill to lead them out. It did not have the desired effect.“
Talk about a sweet (but misguided) gesture! It’s like setting up a neon “Free Buffet” sign for ants. Good intentions, questionable execution.
Tooth Fairy Meets Santa
“Maybe not best but recent: My coworker’s kid lost a tooth yesterday, and the kid said he was going to wait until Sunday to put his tooth under the pillow so the Tooth Fairy can meet Santa lol“
This is strategic planning at its cutest. Why not have a mythical creature meet-and-greet under your pillow? Efficiency is key in the magical world.
Babysitter Age Estimation
“When I was 15, I used to babysit this lovely kid called Jack.
He would very proudly tell people “I’m three!” And hold up three fingers. One day, I asked him how old did he think I was? He gave this very careful consideration.
“26.” He said firmly.
“Why do you think I’m 26?” I replied, mildly offended.
“Mummy looks after me and she’s 26. You look after me too.”
Fair enough!“
In the eyes of a child, if you’re responsible enough to take care of them, you must be as old as their parents. It’s all about roles, not numbers!
Lego “Constructions”
“My 5 yo grandson insists the instructions you receive with a Lego set are “the constructions”, and really I’m having difficulty arguing against it.“
Honestly, “constructions” makes a lot of sense. They are, after all, constructing something. Maybe we’ve been wrong all along.
Day Care Logic
“My husband was working at a child care center and his car was in the shop so he needed a ride. When I arrived to pick him up, one of the children who was also getting picked up asked if I was his mom. Because that’s who picks up people from day care, moms and dads. Makes perfect sense using kid logic.“
In a kid’s world, the daycare pickup is strictly for parents. So, if you’re picking someone up, you must be their mom or dad. Simple and logical!
Earthquake Preparedness
“I was a student teacher, and bumped into one of my seven-year-old students in the morning. He was walking and told me “I always step over the cracks [in the sidewalk].”
I asked “How come?” and expected him to say something about “So I don’t break my mother’s back.” (That’s an old rhyme).
Instead, he said he was “practicing” … “in case there’s an earthquake!”“
Who needs emergency drills when you’ve got sidewalk crack avoidance training? This kid’s taking earthquake preparedness to a whole new level.
Polar Bear Alert
“Leaving the daycare center, a kid called back, “BYE-BYE! Be safe, watch out for polar bears!”
We are not in polar bear territory, but polar bears live in the snow, so since it snowed earlier in the day, it was only logical that we were at elevated polar bear risk.“
Clearly, this kid has a solid grasp on animal habitats. Snow equals polar bears, no matter where you are. Can’t argue with that logic!
Inventing “Nexterday”
“My kid as a toddler invented the word “nexterday” because she knew “yesterday” and “next” but not “tomorrow”.“
Language innovation at its finest. “Nexterday” is a term we should all start using. It’s the perfect blend of past and future!
Dinosaur Alarm
“When I was a kid we experienced an earthquake. I ran to my mom screaming “the dinosaurs are coming!” I was really into The Land Before Time and whenever the Brontosaurus walked the ground shook so it made sense.“
In the world of a child, movies are just as real as reality. Earthquake? No, that’s definitely the approach of friendly dinosaurs. Logical, right?
Holiday Birds
“Whenever we went on holiday, and my daughter started seeing Seagulls, she’d say “look, holiday birds!”“
Seagulls are now officially the mascot of vacations everywhere. If you see a seagull, it must mean you’re on holiday. Pack your bags!
Solo Brew
“My son once told me he had a brew after he bumped his arm. I said I think you mean bruise. He said that it was a brew because he only had one.“
Who knew the English language was so flexible? One bruise, one brew. Makes perfect sense!
Garden Nuggets
“When I was really little our preschool class grew beans in a window and my little brain decided that all food must be grown from seeds. Long story short my mom found about 15 chicken nuggets in her flower bed when she was planting tulips.“
Farm-to-table takes on a whole new meaning. Why not try growing your own chicken nuggets? It’s worth a shot!
Exclusive Cousinship
“My sister has two children, ages 3 and 1. I had my first child in September so my nephews now have a cousin.
The three year old insists that it is only his cousin, since he is the oldest and his younger brother will have to wait for the next one before he gets a cousin of his own.“
Cousins: a limited-edition collectible, apparently. You can’t just have one if you’re not the oldest!
Sweetening the Ocean
“When I was like three or four years old and my family went to the beach, I stole the little sugar packets from the hotel’s breakfast room and emptied them in the ocean, because I didn’t like that it was so salty.“
Tired of the salty ocean? Just add sugar. It’s like a giant, natural cup of tea waiting to be sweetened.
Kids, with their wonderfully wild imaginations and unique perspectives, remind us to look at the world in a different light. Sometimes, their “logic” makes more sense than we’d like to admit!