15 Hilarious Stories Of Guests Doing The Strangest Things In Other People's Homes

15 Hilarious Stories Of Guests Doing The Strangest Things In Other People’s Homes

Whoever said, “a man’s home is his castle,” probably didn’t anticipate the kind of sieges modern hosts have to endure. From the weird to the downright worrisome, the homes of Reddit users have seen it all.

When someone threw the question out there: “What’s something weird a guest did in your home and you didn’t know how to react?” the responses were as varied as they were staggering.

And because we know everyone loves a good “What in the home sweet home is happening here?” story, here are 15 that will have you questioning what you’d do in these hosts’ shoes—or maybe remind you of your own guest-gone-wild experience.

CPAP Prank

“Had some friends over for a house warming party. One of them went to my bedroom and put my CPAP mask on his junk and sent me a picture of it three days later.“

Let’s breathe in the sheer audacity—straight from the slumber party scene. Yawning at the idea of basic decency, this friend took ‘masking’ to a whole new level. Sleep tight, and don’t let the… nope, can’t even finish that sentence.

Cartoon Laden Computer

“A family friend was staying at my house for the week. At the end of the week, my desktop was working real slow. After a brief look through of the history, I noticed two things. The amount of cartoon porn both viewed and downloaded was ridiculous. I didn’t know how to react in the moment, but on the drive to his home, I had to let him know that he was definitely banned from using my desktop after that.“

Here’s a reason to invoke “incognito mode,” folks! When you decide to go on an ‘animated’ downloading spree, at least have the decency to clean up your digital tracks. Cyber cleanliness is next to… well, it’s important.

The Backyard Visitor

“My mother-in-law was coming to visit, and I saw her arrive. Instead of knocking on our front door, though, she went in the backyard. I was so confused. I looked out back to see her going behind a bush, dropping trou, and squatting. I assume she peed. I am baffled to this day. I said nothing.“

Mother-in-law or free-spirited garden fairy? Sometimes it’s better to let nature’s call go to voicemail, especially when it involves your backyard turning into a makeshift restroom.

The Floor Ashtray

“Ash their cigarette on the floor then get really, really mad when we asked them not to do it again.“

Here’s a pro tip: floors are not ashtrays! Who knew that not wanting your carpets to double as a nicotine quilt could be such an unreasonable request?

Bathroom Bag Surprise

“I once had a guest throw out a log of their shit wrapped in a garbage bag in my garbage can in the bathroom. I never said anything about it, i just emptied out the trash and sat down for a moment to try to process why someone would do such a thing.
I told a friend of a friend about it and they too were puzzled by it.“

Oh, bless the mysterious workings of the guest mind. Handbags, trash bags, it’s all the same, right? Wrong. So, very wrong.

The Farting Faucet

“Walked into the kitchen, turned the tap on, farted very loudly turned the tap off and walked back out like we didn’t see or hear him let rip“

Maybe he thought the running water was a soundproof booth? Or perhaps inventing a new form of white noise? Ah, the world may never know.

Christmas in Summer

“Friend of mine had his buddy house sit for his family and the buddy setup all the christmas decorations in summer“

Ho-ho-holy moly, talk about seasons greetings! Is it a deep longing for yuletide cheer or a cheeky new home makeover? Either way, ’tis not the season, bro.

Spilled Beer Wisdom

“I was a freshman in college. I had an off-campus apartment. At one of the many parties, this guy comes up to me and says, “I spilled a beer on your carpet. It’s okay though, I stepped on it.” I had no idea what to say. We still joke about it occasionally.“

Stepped on it, huh? Spillage is but a foot press away from clean in this college crash pad’s ethos. Next time, just bring club soda.

A Sharty Situation

“I had a friend take an hour long shit in my bathroom once. When he came out, finally, I asked if he was ok. He sheepishly said, “yeah, sorry. I had some cleaning up to do.” When I asked what that meant he said, “well, I went in to just pee but then decided to try to squeeze out a fart but sharted all over your wall. I’ve spent the last hour cleaning the shit off of the stucco.”“

The real MVP here is the stucco for its unexpected absorbency. Next time, my friend, trust a fart as much as you would a vampire with a neck fetish—sparingly and never blindly.

Unwanted Advances

“Our friend had his auntie over from somewhere, and we invited them over for some drinks. The auntie started rubbing my leg under the table. I just sat there talking, trying to ignore it. My wife went to the bedroom to do something and our friend followed her, making a move. It was literally like they had it planned all along. Hence to say, we never had anything to do with them ever again after that.“

Who needs soap operas when you have this auntie’s drama at the dinner table? Boundaries, people—let’s learn them.

The Ham Hoarder

“When my mom remarried, we had a small ceremony in our house and had a small spread of food including a honey-baked spiral cut ham that was the circumference of a dinner plate – just huge, green beans and devilled eggs. My aunt Rhonda, my mom’s SIL, ate a stack of ham easily two inches thick, got a second plate with the same, ate all four of her kids plates (the kids didn’t eat much) that had been piled high, ate 23 devilled eggs and packed up a third plate that had about three inches worth of ham slices. We just kind of sat back in amazement.“

Or the legend of Aunt Rhonda and the Never-Ending Ham Plate. Good ol’ Rhonda, putting the ‘gobble’ in gobblefest since… well, forever.

Half-Eaten Generosity

“There was this guy my husband and I had met once before, we invited him over to watch a movie with us (we were new to the city, trying to make friends), he said he’d bring pizza. He brought a half eaten pizza. He asked to use our laptop (was on FB the whole time) and proceeded to fall asleep in our living room recliner during the movie. It was an odd encounter.“

Half a pizza is better than no pizza unless it’s a half that someone else enjoyed first. Also, thanks for the Z’s and laptop memoirs, buddy.

Snoop and Stroll

“My aunt, uncle, and my cousins took a vacation out to my area once, and we invited them over for dinner. I haven’t seen them in years, so I don’t know my cousins very well.
One of my cousins upon entering our home immediately started quietly walking into every room in the house, and started opening up closets, dresser drawers and cabinets. There wasn’t anything he could stumble upon that was embarrassing or valuable, and we didn’t want to make a scene, so we just kinda let him have the run of the house. My Aunt and Uncle acted like this was just a normal thing.
Later on I called my mom and asked about that and she said “Oh yea, that kid is super weird. We have to lock all of our bedroom doors when he comes over. He tends to just riffle through peoples personal lives. He doesn’t take anything, he just likes to snoop.”
People are strange.“

And you thought your home was your castle? Meet the snooping cousin who redefines ‘open house.’ Personal boundaries got left outside with the welcome mat.

Saucy Commentary

“Let their child get red sauce all over my furniture, then turn and tell me that #1 I shouldn’t have had red sauce pasta as an option for dinner at my home, and #2 they saved me because my child was going to ruin my furniture at some point anyways…. I was pregnant at the time“

A tomato sauce-tainted prophecy delivered with an arrogant flourish. What better way to celebrate impending motherhood than with unsolicited parenting (and hosting) tips drenched in pasta sauce?

Early Bird Gaming

“Invited a guy over for game night. Start time was 7pm or 7:30. He shows up at 6:00 pm. I have a long driveway. He parks in the center. I have to have him move for other guests of course. He comes in the house and I try to gain insight into why he’s here so early. He says can’t predict traffic and better to be early. He helps himself to a coke without asking. Then asks me what streaming services I have. He then puts on star wars the clone wars animated series and starts watching. He then asks for a snack so I get him one. When everyone else arrives he whips out his own home made card game. We play the game until 9:00 pm on the dot. At which point he promptly stands up. Proclaims he has to leave and does. Takes his game with him too of course. I still haven’t recovered from this.“

Why so soon, game night guru? And parking in the center of the driveway? Quite the power move. Just a reindeer game, I suppose. May the force of social etiquette be with you.

So, there you have it: 15 tales of domestic hospitality hijinks that will make you either hug your regular, respectful guests or seriously reconsider ever hosting again. Remember to laugh it off—because, at the end of the day, a guest is just a story waiting to be told (or a lesson in why we can’t have nice things).