We all have to juggle commitments and relationships, but where do we draw the line when prioritizing our loved ones? This becomes particularly complicated when plans are canceled last minute, adding a layer of disappointment to the mix.
Cancellations for family emergencies are understandable, but when it’s a pattern, the other person may feel undervalued. This is the dilemma faced by a man who shared his frustration on a popular AITA post after his girlfriend canceled their plans to cater to her sister’s travel preferences.
He wrote:
Trying to see if I’m the one who’s in the wrong here. We’d planned to go away Thursday this week for a night away before Christmas and to go shopping. Early last week her sister who lives 3 hours away messaged her to ask if she could bring her home for Christmas and she said no and that another family member would do it because she doesn’t like driving. We then arranged to go away Thursday to spend some time together.
Yesterday she tells me (the day before) we can’t go because she’s driving to get her sister early Friday and it’s annoyed me when she knew we already had something planned. I told her calmly that it’s annoying when she cancels stuff we’ve already arranged for family (it’s happened before) and treats me second best. She stormed out of the house, said she’s done nothing wrong and refuses to see my side. 7 hours later she said sorry but still doesn’t think she’s 100% in the wrong when her sister asked her last week and she said no. I’ve told her if she can’t prioritise us I’ll start doing the same.
Am I the one being unreasonable here? The only reason she’s picking her sister up is because she doesn’t like getting the train and I’m being put second. I told her if she’d have asked instead of just going ahead I wouldn’t have a problem with it we could’ve picked a different day but it’s the lack of thought for me which bothers me most. Am I wrong?
People were quick to share their thoughts:
valleygirlflops said that the girlfriend’s decision to cancel was unjustified because Christmas was still days away, questioning the age of the sister to assess her independence.
dillonlawrence0101, the original poster (OP), revealed that the sister was around 30, illuminating the situation further and prompting surprise from other users.
ChrisInBliss exclaimed about the sister’s age and scolded her neediness, while noting some people prioritize family to a fault. He felt the short notice cancellation was the most upsetting part.
Agile-Wait-7571 pointed to the girlfriend storming out as the main issue, a sentiment OP agreed with, explaining that it exacerbated their argument and led to a blame game.
artnodiv highlighted that the girlfriend’s storming out and unwillingness to have a conversation were big red flags, indicative of potential issues in handling future problems.
Awesomekidsmom described the red flags as a “stadium,” questioning if the girlfriend’s behavior is what one would want in a partner, especially in more serious situations.
mrporter2 labeled the girlfriend’s reaction as emotionally abusive and advised OP to reconsider the relationship based on her overreaction to a supposedly minor issue.
wlfwrtr commented on the pattern of the girlfriend’s behavior and her inability to take responsibility, which suggested a disregard for OP’s feelings.
CheeryBottom advised that the relationship has reached its natural conclusion and that the girlfriend’s behavior is unlikely to improve.
Turbulent-Pipe-4642 speculated that the girlfriend struggles with saying no and prioritizes her family out of habit, possibly requiring her to learn how to set boundaries.
Sensitive-Ad-5406 suggested that OP’s girlfriend showed she’s not a priority through her actions and offered a blunt breakup statement.
ju5tl1k3that recommended that OP carry on with his original plans alone to give himself space to reflect on the relationship.
Millenniauld cited OP’s post history, recognizing a toxic pattern, and urged him to end the relationship for his own well-being.
WinnerNo5114 and seaturtle541 remarked on the girlfriend’s outburst and suggested that OP enjoy his holiday plans without her.
CelebrationNext3003 asserted that OP was not wrong since the girlfriend had already denied her sister’s request initially and had ample time to find another solution.
Wild_Debt_8065 and PanickedAntics shared the view that OP should maintain his standards and expectations, suggesting communication could salvage the relationship if possible.
grayblue_grrl delivered a stark warning by indicating that the girlfriend’s behavior will likely repeat and urged OP to take it as a sign to reassess their future.
What’s your thoughts on prioritizing romantic relationships versus family commitments? Let us know if you think plans should bend for family or if standing firm on prior arrangements is the right move. Don’t forget to head back over to the Facebook post and share your opinion in the comments.
