When you’re no longer with an ex-partner, often conversations with them can be awkward.
They are dredging up old memories, bringing up things that have been left in the past of your relationship.
But why exactly do they do it?
What does it mean when your ex brings up old memories? When an ex brings up old memories it’s usually because they miss you. It’s because they want to be with you. It’s short-term manipulation to get back into your life by bringing up old memories in hopes it will make you think of them and want to rekindle a relationship.
They dredge up old memories because it’s the only way they know how to show you that they miss you.
They don’t know what else to do.
Let’s go over the most common reasons why your ex would bring up old memories.
What Does It Mean When Your Ex Brings up Old Memories?
They’re Trying To Get You Back
The most common reason is when an ex wants to get back together with you.
Bringing up old memories can be a way to remind you of the good times and make you realize that what the two of you had was so great.
They are hoping that you’ll realize exactly how much you miss them.
They bring up old memories because they want to get back together.
Many times, the relationship didn’t end on good terms and your ex realizes that bringing up old memories is a way to make things right.
Because who knows…
Maybe you will forget all the reasons why things went wrong and who knows? Maybe you’ll fall in love all over again.
They Want You To Feel Guilty
Oftentimes, bringing up old memories is a way to make you feel guilty.
Many times breakups aren’t mutual.
Maybe you broke up with them or maybe they broke up with you.
Maybe they tried to stay together for the sake of the relationship but you weren’t willing to let it work out.
When an ex brings up old memories, it’s usually because they want to make you feel guilty about breaking things off in order to get back together.
Guilt is a very powerful thing.
When we feel guilty we can often do things we would not normally do to make it right.
Another reason an ex might bring up old memories is that they want to emotionally manipulate you.
It’s not uncommon for people to attempt the emotional manipulation of an ex by bringing up old memories in hopes that it will make your feelings change.
Sometimes emotions can be manipulated with such intensity that the other person actually believes exactly what is happening.
This can be a very scary and dangerous thing especially for someone who doesn’t know how to control their emotions and impulses while getting over a breakup or divorce.
They Just Miss Being With You
Sometimes when people see an ex they just miss who they used to be with.
They miss the fun times that they had together.
This is not manipulation or guilt-tripping, but more of a way to reconnect on some level with the person you were in love with before.
For example, if you were together for a long time it’s only natural that the two of you miss each other.
After all, if you built a life together with someone and spent hours and hours of your time with them, it’s only natural that you miss them when you’re no longer together.
What To Do When Your Ex Brings Up Old Memories
So what do you do when your ex brings up old memories?
It’s a difficult situation to be in because although there is a part of you that misses them and all the good times you had together, there is also a part of you that doesn’t.
Before you can figure out what to do, you must know whether or not you think the two of you could ever get back together or if your relationship is truly over.
You Could Try Again
If you still think that your relationship could work out, then perhaps you should give it a chance.
You might try to make things right again. Perhaps you still love each other and can work things out as long as you truly want to.
This depends on how the relationship ended and what the problems were.
What if you tried to work things out with your ex before and let them go?
Perhaps the breakup was mutual. No one was at fault, just unable to make it work. This doesn’t mean that you can’t try again with an open mind.
You Could Kindly Continue On Your Path
Another option if you know that the two of you will not get back together is to kindly continue on with your life.
Sometimes people need time to figure things out and move on so it might be best not to force anything.
After all, most of the time the ex is only bringing up old memories out of desperation because they want to be with you.
You broke up for a reason. You chose to be on your way.
You chose not to make the relationship work.
When one person is unwilling to make it work, things are often no longer meant to be.
You Could Always Just Let It Go
If you don’t feel at all that your relationship could ever work out, then it might be best to just let things go.
The best way to do this is to sit down and think about how you really feel about the situation.
If you notice that you feel angry then it might be best to not confront your ex or see them.
Since anger is a very powerful thing, it is best to leave the situation alone and not let yourself get angry.
Or you could have a serious conversation about why you don’t think the two of you can work things out.
In this situation, it might be best to have a conversation with the ex in person.
In this way, they will feel more comfortable discussing the matter with you face to face rather than over text message or over the phone.
And it will make it much more clear to the two of you exactly how things are.
Some people handle this situation very well.
Others, not so much.
How you handle the situation will largely depend on your personality and how you handle difficult situations in general.
Things can be handled in many different ways.
So, when an ex brings up old memories, it’s most likely because they miss you and want to be with you.
They want to give the relationship another chance.
It’s up to you to decide whether the relationship is worth the trouble or if you want to let it go and move on with your life.
It’s a very difficult situation to be in because as you’re trying to move on, they’re trying to get back together with you.