It can be really hard to talk when people are looking somewhere else or not making eye contact with you in a group.
Sometimes, the person you’re talking to might be distracted by somebody else and they’ll look away without even saying anything.
This article will share some ideas on how to make eye contact more smoothly and easily, as well as some tips on what can happen when someone doesn’t make eye contact with you.
You must understand that there are many possible reasons why people fail to make eye contact with you when you’re in a group setting.
However, we’ll go over the most common reasons.
5 Reasons People Don’t Make Eye Contact with You in a Group
#1 They’re thinking about something else.
When someone is talking to you, it’s easy for them to forget your existence for a moment.
This is especially true when they’re talking to someone else or they’re holding hands with their partner/friend.
Of course, sometimes the person will just abandon their conversation and start interacting with you, but this is rare.
#2 They’re in a hurry.
Sometimes, people will want to say something in a language that they don’t understand.
For example, they might be speaking in a language that they think is easy to talk in, such as Japanese or Mandarin.
#3 They’re shy about interacting with people they don’t know well.
You might feel dread when you have to talk to someone new for the first time.
You might be afraid that you’ll say the wrong thing and end up looking like an idiot.
This is the same for people who aren’t making eye contact with you.
They don’t want to make a fool of themselves by saying something stupid or looking into your eyes too long.
#4 They’re more interested in what someone else is saying.
If you’re speaking to your friends, you might completely forget about what the other person is saying.
This can happen when you’re focusing on talking about something interesting, such as work.
#5 They want to make eye contact with someone else around them.
Sometimes, people are interested in interacting with the person who’s speaking to them.
For example, if two people want to get married, they might hope that their spouse would make eye contact with them while they’re talking.
If you’re in a group of friends, someone might want to make eye contact with the person who’s talking to them when they’re in a different group.
How to Make Eye Contact in a Group Setting
When I’m teaching people how to make eye contact, I usually have them do it by standing up for a moment.
When going about being friendly with others, it’s important to do small interactions regularly so that you can tell when someone is looking at you or not.
Another activity that I like to do with people is to ask them if they like a photo that someone took.
If you’re outgoing and willing to express your feeling and emotions, then it will be easy for you to make eye contact with other people.
This photo activity is good for women, but not for men.
Women might be able to talk about their photography interest or take out their photos and show it off to other people.
Men usually won’t take out their photos unless they’ve been asked if they’d like to share the photograph. (Then, of course, they don’t want to talk about making eye contact with someone.)
I recently found out that there’s actually a Japanese term that describes people who stare into the eyes of others.
It’s called “baso” (literally meaning “gazing”).
A Japanese person I know told me that Japanese companies used to hire people like this.
If you’re interested in finding a job in Japan, you’ll need to make sure you can make eye contact with others while talking and smiling.
What Happens if Someone Doesn’t Make Eye Contact with You in a Group
You can find out immediately if eye contact is easy or difficult for people by asking them to look into your eyes.
Most people will look away after 3-5 seconds, but others will stay there without blinking.
Then, you can try to talk to these people and see what happens.
Just be sure that you’re not looking at other people at the same time (your eyes might “chase” them).
You can also see what happens by pointing at another person, saying “point” in English, and then making eye contact with the other person.
If you make eye contact with someone else when talking to them, they might turn away because they don’t want to make eye contact with you. (The same is true when someone points at someone else.)
Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule.
One friend of mine likes to make eye contact with people in the corner of his eyes.
Then, when he’s talking to people, he knows if they’re looking at him or not.
If you’ve been asked something by someone, you should always look directly into their eyes.
This way, your listener will know that you want an answer from them.
It’s also important to remember that people sometimes look away because they don’t believe what you’re saying is true.
You can figure out if they believe you by looking at their facial expression.
For example, if the person has a puzzled expression, then they probably don’t think what you’re saying is true.
For example, if someone says something like “the sky is blue.”
You can see that the person is surprised by this statement because their eyes are wide open and their eyebrows are raised.
Conclusion
Making eye contact with other people can be easy or difficult depending on how you’re interacting with them.
If you’re the only person in a group chatting with someone, then you can automatically make eye contact by looking into your friend’s eyes.
If you’re with people who are communicating in another language, then it’s important for them to look into your eyes when they do their talking.
This is not easy for anyone at all.
However, you can learn how to make eye contact easily by asking others to do it for you.
This is also good for teachers who are trying to make students pay attention.